Things I never expected to learn about pregnancy.

And there it is the ultimate fate… A stick purchased from a Walmart in a different county at 4 am because heaven forbid someone you know runs into you while you’re buying a pregnancy test…
So there it is… Your fate determined… 20… Unwed… And pregnant. 
There will be no tears shed, because you aren’t exactly sad… Nor will you freak out… Did you want this… No way… But you realize that you can’t do anything about the situation now
You tell the father… He tells you to get an abortion… You politely tell him ” you’ll have to kill me first”
My sons life was more important to me than anyone’s opinion even at that point.
So you do it… Everyone thinks you’re really brave.. They are weirdly supportive… Except for sperm donor obviously…
You here a country music song called ” the secret ” about a guy that loses his girl and baby… You think that has to be the worst thing ever…
What you don’t know is… A tiny coffin is in your future… 
One day you see blood in your urine and you immediately run to the hospital… Upon checking in they reassure you everything will be okay… But you know it won’t. You know you and your child will never walk out okay…
They examine you and tell you you’re 4 cms dilated. You are 22 weeks pregnant… A child can not survive outside the womb until 23… 

They tell you there is a slim to none chance you will make it to 23… They want to induce you and take the baby now… 

You fight them…
At 2:45 you deliver your son… He has a heartbeat and is considered alive… You get to hold him while they come in every 15 minutes until there is no longer a heartbeat 
You get to go home later that day. You even get to carry him with you… You pick out a tiny coffin… You bury him on top of your mother the same day….
Things you never want to learn about pregnancy.


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